the first day…

Hello there…!

So this is a first for me. I have wanted to write down my thoughts, feelings, experiences etc for FOREVER and today I just decided to sit down and DO it! haha…so if you are reading this welcome to my mind of a million thoughts!

First off, a bit about me. I’m in my 40’s so I’ve experienced life to some degree. I’m divorced (about 2.5years out), I have two children~one who is on the brink of puberty (my son) and the other is my boisterous 5.5yr old daughter who every day either tells me I’m the wold’s best or worst mom depending on how HER day is going! 🙂

I work in the medical field and have a pretty demanding job. Demanding from the sense that I am always on call, have a number to always hit and work in the OR with surgeons. In my free time I like to run, workout, drink lots of wine and I love to eat. Occasionally I will cook too, but only if Pinterest has a good recipe. I am dating someone and we are beginning to be quite serious so that too will make it’s way into my blogs.

My mom died when I was two.

I think I never really realized what impact that had on me until the day I got a divorce and four months later a chest of her stuff with over 50 home movies magically appeared. My father found them. From the moment I began to watch and listen to these 3 minute clips of my mother with me I realized that I needed to figure out who I really was. So this will be a discovery of such as well.

So for today’s first blog I think I’d like to just mention that life is hard. Really hard. If we are not trying to balance how our kids get to and from school, what they eat to what they watch and see online and social media its what WE see as mothers trying our very best to just not SUCK. I know there are a ton of posts and blogs out there that are saying the exact same thing but holy hell. I literally badger my kids with everything from “what did you learn in class today and do you have any homework?” to “what are watching on your phone? Why are you always on it?” Is there violence they are seeing? sex? and if there is should I stop them or am I doing them a disservice if I do? Should we allow them to be constantly inundated with all the things that we as mothers/women/men/young adults are served with? I fall victim EVERY day to social media. If it isn’t a post by a famous person or my neighbor down the street at how AWESOME and amazing her life is, her husband is, how her vacation to Greece was I’m gonna scream! Can’t we just live in a normal world??