the other woman…
So to begin, I have to first just say that I like her a LOT more now than I did 2.5 years ago. I know, I know…so cliché . But it’s true! Honestly it has taken me a few years, lots of therapy, hundreds of phone calls to friends and finally getting slapped in the face-literally-to wake up and realize that if I had to pick out the best person to take care of my kids in my absence (when I don’t have them) she pretty much fits into that mold.
She’s super nice to them (sometimes too nice), she’s young (26?!), no kids so yes she doesn’t have life experiences like me but hey!- That’s my job anyhow?!, and there’s no competition with mine!!, and she does literally adore them…I mean who doesn’t right??! (me, but only when they are being little a**holes)
Anyhow I definitely had my “shining moments” in the beginning…The rage! The hate! The jealousy! The fact that I literally was left for a younger woman!!! That my kids might think that she was their “new Mom!” (yes I know that sounds pathetic but when you go through a divorce anything and everything enters into your mind) I couldn’t see straight, let alone think straight, and all the hateful ugly crap that you think??? Well…that came out of my mouth at my Ex. I was literally like the Exorcist with ugly words, feelings and emotions spewing out of me at all times-I didn’t even recognize myself let alone my friends and thank heavens for my therapist because she really helped me down from my suicidal binge on making myself look and sound like a scorned woman-WHICH I WAS NOT!!! I was just sad and angry and hurt by all of the things that divorce brings. (more on that later)
Back to my original thought…
So! Here we are 2.5 years later and me and the other woman are now-not friends exactly?-but we are in constant communication about my kids/their schedules/what they ate for lunch/who has what for homework etc etc and I kinda like her. Until I hear things like I heard the other morning at 6am from my sweet and sassy 5.5 yr old daughter…
It’s 6am and she comes bounding down the staircase singing sweet nothings to me which I find hilarious because sometimes I think SHE is the exorcist in the morning, but anyhow this particular morning she is in a sweet mood.
And she comes into my bedroom, which I am alone in, hops into my bed, leans in to give me a “kissy” with her hot, 5.5 year old morning breath that sometimes isn’t so pleasant but I can’t tell her that or I will get a sour face, and she says to me….”Momma, did I tell you what (new other woman that I won’t name here) is getting me?!!” And so I pretend not to be disappointed that her jubilant mood is because of this piece of new information she’s about to share with me and not because she loves me dearly, and so I say in a sweet voice biting my tongue “what sweetheart? Please do tell your Momma.” And her response is “She let me pick out-on her phone-a new Ski jacket!!! It has kitties all over it and it’s black and white and it’s so cute Momma! I am so excited to wear it!!” And to this I say….”But sweetheart you have an outfit?! and I got it for you?”
Her response??
“But I like this one better!” and with that she stomps out of my room, back up to hers and begins to get ready for school.
WHAT??!!! I mean I’d like to insert every mad, pissed off emoji I can here on this page but I will tell you that instead I got out of bed, made some coffee, walked outside to let the dog out and wanted to scream but my neighbors were walking their dogs so I couldn’t, so I just sat on the steps and let one tear out. I know this sounds ridiculous but sometimes you just want to be the winner dammit! And I know it’s not a competition but for all the things that we do as mothers, one little thing that someone else does for our kids and they act as if that person just saved the world hurts a bit!
Of course I got over it in 5 min, but I can say that if this little non-event had happened two years ago I would have thought differently.
Now…getting called by the other woman’s name instead of Momma?…that has quite a different effect on me!!